Life as a SEN mum

When we have kids, we know we’d do whatever it takes to protect them and make sure they have everything they want and need. But never do we expect to lose sleep, and spend every waking moment fighting against a system that feels like it’s neglecting some of the most vulnerable members of society.

I think it’s probably safe to say that society as a whole does not function in a way that anyone who is neurodivergent is going to feel comfortable with. From rigid routines to strange social norms, it’s very easy for someone to feel overwhelmed, and even excluded from lots of situations. It can make just functioning at school, work, or even social events extremely difficult.

The thing I always struggle to get my head round, is that a lot of the struggles could be avoided with the correct help in childhood. It’s not just the problem in getting a diagnosis, but accessing help after diagnosis. Partly because it seems to be a bit of a postcode lottery, and if you are “lucky” then the help on offer is usually sub standard.

It’s not just about a lack of support from medical professionals, but lack of support in school, and later on, in the workplace, but for now we will just focus on school as that’s where my knowledge lies.

Education, we’re led to believe is something which is accessible, and available to all. The truth is, it isn’t, it’s there, but for many it certainly isn’t inclusive, nor is it completely accessible. Yes, there are SEN schools, and yes, you can apply for an EHCP, but even with these, there are many issues, most which ultimately fall on the heads of central government.

The main reason we keep fighting an uphill battle? Funding. Not just funding, but it is a huge concern, in a time where we are starting to learn and understand more about people with additional needs, it seems strange that there would also be so many cuts. But that’s the reality. Funding in SEN schools are being cut, with children even being moved back to mainstream. The number of EHCPs granted are set to be cut, all this does have a major effect on a child’s education. As it stands there are already lots of schools who can’t meet an EHCP, not through a lack of willingness from the school to help, but because the funding provided, alongside staffing levels just don’t allow for these to be fully met.

So why don’t we just give up? Honestly, because why would we and why should we? Our children deserve exactly the same as every other child, and without the fight nothing will ever change. It can be exhausting, but unless we fight the only thing that will change is for the worse, and hopefully by all us SEN parents fighting today, our children won’t have to deal with the constant uphill battle in the future.