Life as a SEN mum

For some reason this is quite a controversial subject, which is funny when the same pressure is never put on any other meal. No other meal would anyone question why we feed our autistic children their safe foods, or question why everyone isn’t sat round the same table. Even if we take a normal Sunday, when in the UK it’s traditional to have a roast, no one really bats an eyelid if you dare to go against the grain, so why Christmas?

I think the key probably is in the “tradition” whilst our lives have changed and become more and more hectic, our day to day lives don’t necessarily allow for the same family dinners, or weekly roast. But on Christmas we are all there together, and everything stops. But does it really? Any mother will know how chaotic and stressful the Christmas season is, and at least for us, no it doesn’t really stop.

So what’s the solution? I’ve said it a lot over Christmas, but just do what works for you, not a big fan of a roast dinner? Do something else. Got kids who still want nuggets? Do them the nuggets.

I’m not the biggest fan of a roast dinner, but I do quite enjoy it at Christmas, James loves a roast dinner, as does their dad, Charlotte on the other hand isn’t the biggest fan, but she does love turkey so for us a dinner still works with a few little tweaks.

It’s not just about what we actually eat for Christmas dinner, but the whole experience. The biggest issue we really have is how overwhelming Christmas Day can be. It’s the one day that you really notice Charlotte struggle, and for her the idea of sitting round a table is just too much of a demand, and I personally don’t believe it’s worth the stress of forcing her to sit at the table, when it’s as much her day as ours. So if she wants to eat at a different time, or in a different room, that’s fine. For me the main priority is that everyone enjoys the day, and that really is all that matters.