Life as a SEN mum

Does anyone else find the start of the school year a strange set of emotions? On one side there’s the need for routine, but then at the same time the 6 weeks seems to fly by and you find yourself barely having done any of the endless activities you plan.

But, as with everything it can’t be avoided, but it can bring a whole host of other problems. As much as we crave routine, the change in classes, teachers, class mates can cause problems for SEN children. While you can attempt to prepare for the changes in advance, that first day back won’t always go smoothly.

Sometimes even when you think that first drop off went smoothly, once they’re in the classroom you never know quite how things are going to go. If you have a child with anxiety then look at coping mechanisms, these might stay the same or change with age, but whatever it takes to ease those first day nerves is going to be worth it in the long run. By this point we are a week into the school year, and if anxiety is still overwhelming, just bear with it. For some children it will take longer than others to settle back in, and that’s ok. Particularly where it’s a big year, those starting a new school, entering an exam year etc may all make things a little more difficult. If you are at the end of the week and feeling a little lost then take your focus off school. Spend a relaxed weekend as a family, take it easy, do whatever you all enjoy doing together to show that you are there for support and also that will distract from anything playing on their mind. For us it’s likely going to be a park trip, or baking and films with plenty of snacks. Nothing too overwhelming. If things are really difficult take some time to sit and reflect on the week, pick out the positives, their favourite parts, what went well etc and just reassure them that things will gradually improve.

Aside from the anxiety for the kids, it can be a tough time for parents. We have the anxiety surrounding whether our kids are going to settle back in and the already looming list of school events/meetings and the emails requesting money for pantomimes and end of year trips. It’s a lot to deal with when you’re just trying to get back into the routine of school runs to then be already thinking about the end of year. Just as everyone has not long got over the amount of events during the summer time, if you’re anything like me you already have a calendar full of dates of assemblies, SEN meetings, meet the teacher sessions and having to plan for EHCP reviews, all before we even get to October half term. My way to cope right now is to take it day by day and making sure my daily schedules are all sorted in advance. That way I know where I need to be on a given day and when I need to be there to prevent having a complete meltdown myself.

If it’s the financial side of things that are already worrying you, I’m here to say try not to focus too much on this. while it seems a lot to be bombarded with emails requesting money, these are for trips that are quite some time away. Make a note of the dates and the prices, as well as dates payments are due and take it from there. If your child is due to go on a residential trip speak with the school about payment plans. For anyone with a child entitled to pupil premium you can also speak to the school about help with trips and uniform, school supplies etc. All will help ease that burden.