Life as a SEN mum

Can you believe that we’re in a new year already? I remember my mum always telling me not to wish time away because the older you get the quicker time seems to go, and she was right, it really does seem like every year goes quicker.

With a New Year comes the “New Year, New Me” tribe out in force. I’ve never really been one to set specific resolutions. Of course there’s been the years I’ve started a new diet on the 1st January, but purely for the fact the festive season is over and it’s a nice time to refresh rather than it being a specific intention. Last year I did aim set the goal to lose weight, guess what? it didn’t happen. Looking back there are several reasons, life as a whole being the main one, which I won’t go into. But the big thing is the demand of it. If I think about the times I’ve been successful with weight loss, it’s when I just decide to make some changes to be healthier overall, and just see what happens, because there’s no massive feeling of overwhelm if I don’t end up sticking to a plan. Along with lots of people coming out of the festive period I’m guilty of having a mild panic over finances. Saving, or paying off debts if needed, is a great goal to have. But, again, there is a lot of pressure surrounding it. Feeling you have to save a certain amount. I think social media is again partly the problem here. I’ve seen a lot of pages that are really helpful for saving, making it easy for anyone regardless of financial position. But then while I was aimlessly scrolling the other day a video popped up of someone doing no spend January, I have no issue with this. I always cut back in January where possible because it’s the month where we aren’t quite as busy, and it means it sets us up ready for the birthdays, day trips etc in the coming months. But this particular person’s goal was to pay off $11000 of debt in the first quarter of this year. I could easily get into the amount of issues I have with declaring this, but I think it’s safe to say for most that being able to set that much aside in 3 months isn’t feasible. Logically we know that, but it doesn’t help the anxiety around money.

If you are setting goals generally smaller goals can help. As much as it’s a new year, there’s no need to go full steam into a complete overhaul. How many people do we see who’s resolutions seem very extreme: drink 3litres of water, walk 15000 steps, don’t drink alcohol, don’t eat processed sugar, pay off mortgage etc etc. It’s a lot, and I’m willing to bet that even for the most focused individuals it’s a lot to tackle at once. Admittedly most of those are all linked examples, but they can also be broken down further. Take one at a time. If you want to drink more water, focus on that and do it bit by bit. If you’re not great at drinking then going from nothing to 2-3 litres is a lot, so increase it glass by glass. Work at mini goals to build up to those ultimate goals and it takes a lot of the pressure off.

With that in mind, I’m setting myself small goals this year. I do have the usual things I want to work towards, but the main goal is just to live life to the fullest. More of us (myself included) should maybe focus more on goals that enrich our lives somehow, be that a hobby, travel, or whatever you’re interested in, rather than goals constantly being about missing cutting things out. Yes they have their place, but too much pressure is put on cutting back as opposed to actually living.