Life as a SEN mum

I never really realised how controversial a topic sleepovers could be. It’s also a big step, whoever that sleepover is with. Not having your kids at home can be quite a difficult thing to deal with as a parent, particularly if you’re used to them being with you 24/7.

There have been instances where the kids have stayed with grandparents, but in all honesty even this doesn’t prepare you for them staying at anyone else’s house, even if that happens to be family.

I know sleepovers a bit of a divisive subject, with less people feeling comfortable with the idea of a sleepover even when kids are older. That’s fine, there is no right or wrong really. Whether I’d allow mine to sleep at a friend’s house I couldn’t tell you, it would definitely depend on how well I knew the parents, as well as a lot of other factors. I always worry whether it would be so far from routine that it would end up leading to a meltdown.

That being said, James did recently go to a sleepover, so I thought I’d discuss the preparation and feelings surrounding it. The sleepover was with a family member, so I felt a little more comfortable; that being said, it is also completely normal to still not feel comfortable. This doesn’t in anyway mean you don’t trust them. There could be any number of reasons you don’t necessarily feel comfortable allowing your child to stay elsewhere. Had this been Charlotte, I’d most likely be more reluctant, knowing that she isn’t a great sleeper and can become extremely dysregulated when having sleeping in an unfamiliar setting. As a light sleeper, even if she does fall asleep, she is easily woken, and definitely doesn’t settle very well after waking.

James being a good sleeper (on the whole) does make things a little easier. That being said, there are a lot of other concerns. For one, James is very much a “yes man” and a people pleaser. He often will just agree with others, and if there was anything wrong he wouldn’t necessarily voice that anything is wrong. It’s difficult even for me to get him to be fully open about any concerns at times, so I know there’s little hope around other adults that he doesn’t spend as much time around.

Now that he’s that bit older, he doesn’t really have comforters anymore, which in this instance may have eased my nerves more, if not his. But then again if he did and had taken it, would this be a subject to be ridiculed? Because at the back of my mind that is always a concern in every aspect, as there are ways where he is a lot younger than his age, and still very innocent. I do, however, wish that I’d remembered to send him with his phone. I’d originally decided not to send him as I didn’t want him to spend the whole time on his phone, and thought (probably naively) that if anything was wrong that his aunt would call me.

I’m not 100% sure whether I’d be allowing him to have another sleepover in a hurry. But on the plus side he did seem happy enough when I picked him up the next day. Also, at the same time, I have to give him a little bit of freedom as he does get older. Although, IF I do let him go for a sleepover again I’ll make sure he does have his phone so that I’m easily contactable if there was any problems. It is however a big IF and the jury is out as to whether I will allow a sleepover any time soon.

What are your thoughts on sleepovers? Would you allow them? Would you only allow them in certain instances? Or are you completely against sleepovers?

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