Life as a SEN mum

I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t think it’s actually sunk in yet that we’re in a new year. 2025 went by so quickly I’m not sure I ever really found my feet, and as such all routine, consistency and in all honesty, any potential last year had to actually be “my year” went out the window. Now we’re in another year and I’ll be honest, I feel a little bit like I’m drowning, everything is very overwhelming, trying to plan everything and figure out what really needs to be focused on really does seem a lot right now.

So moving forward here’s the plan:

Consistency:

I think this needs to be covered for all aspects, because realistically that’s where success will lie. But I think I also overload myself too much. So starting the year I’m going to stick with aiming for 1 blog post a week and 1 post a day on all social media platforms. The hope being that the correct posts at the right time will start to build momentum without me having to do everything at once and feeling overwhelmed.

But it’s not just socials. House work I need to be more consistent with, and one thing I realised last year is that my therapist was probably onto something when they suggested seeking referrals for ADHD and Autism. Now don’t get me wrong, we don’t live in a dirty house, and stuff does get done. But it can become overwhelming to the point you almost feel paralysed when the ironing piles up every day, and there’s dishes that constantly need doing, don’t even get me started on the amount of dust that comes from my heated airer. I think I got to a point where I felt my life was being ruled by cleaning. So I’m going back to using TOMM, which works wonders if you actually stick to it. If you don’t know what TOMM is search The Organised Mum Method on google or instagram and it’s honestly a game changer, particularly if you want to get back into a routine.

One thing I did actually remain pretty consistent with was my diet. It took a few months to really get going, I think the turning point was coming back from Cornwall having lost weight whilst having still had the occasional treat. Even though I know the key to weight loss I think I just very much needed a moment where I could go “see you ate what you wanted in moderation, kept active and it’s paying off”. But obviously, with Christmas and New Year (and 2 birthdays thrown in for good measure), things have gone a little bit off track, so I will be getting back into it, starting off with my water goals and opting for healthier food choices, and then I’ll bring exercise in more once I’ve got a proper routine back.

Self control

This one is referring solely to spending. My big focus for this year is to get back on track with my finances. I think it’s safe to say I’ve been a little bit reckless with spending over the last few years and that and a number of increased costs last year, have left me going into the new year feeling like I’m in a very deep hole. There are several things I know I can do to get everything on track and those I might talk about in a separate post. But the big one is practicing self control. I am extremely impulsive and whilst I’m very good at budgeting and planning for the weekly food shop and general bills, I do have a habit of going overboard elsewhere and this is something I do need to be more careful of.

Stress less

Why am I looking at small changes? It’s simple really, in the hope that I can start to stress less. In all honesty, stress is my go to setting, I’ll stress about everything, and if there isn’t something to stress about I’ll somehow find something, or tell myself that it’s too good to be true and start stressing about what may happen down the line when everything has been quite calm and going to plan. So hopefully by slowly working on everything and breaking everything down a little bit more I can eventually learn to relax (or here’s to hoping anyway).

Accept help

Hands up if you also need to do this more. It’s hard, it really is. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, the belief that I should be doing everything for everyone, and to carry that without ever needing help from anyone. In all honesty for years I managed. But as the kids got older it’s become harder. As any SEN parent will know, everything is unpredictable. You don’t know whether they’ll make it through the school day, you don’t know if they’ll end up on reduced time tables at a moments notice and you have to be able to be everywhere you need to be at seemingly the same time. Then you’ve got the needs thrown in with hormone changes, general changes in attitude etc as they get older, which makes you question all that you’ve done. You sacrifice everything, then you make sure you’re always available for friends and family, you’re also battling you local authority constantly. But there are moments where you are left feeling completely down trodden, and continuing becomes hard. But do you ever ask for help? No, because if you’re like me, that somehow triggers the feeling of failure. But honestly the truth is we all need help from time to time to avoid burning out. Is this one going to be an easy fix? Absolutely not, and this is probably going to need more work than anything else I aim to achieve this year. But if I ever want to meet all of my goals I’m going to need to.

On a lighter note.

I don’t want to end on such a melancholy tone, but last year I’m sure you noticed a distinct lack of posts. I have plenty prepped, they were just never finished. But as we start to move through the winter and are looking forward to warmer weather and planning days out/holidays I’ll start getting some of these up as they might help some of you out.

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