Life as a SEN mum

I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of pantomimes, so part of me never really thought I’d have to deal with this, that was, until James started school.

The first pantomime he attended whilst at school I hadn’t put much thought into how he’d be, because the last time I went to a pantomime was when I was 4. The school asked if I’d go along, solely to provide support for James, mostly on the basis that the pantomime was expected to be 3 hours. In all honesty by the end, I was more fed up than James, I do not do well sitting still for that long, but I did get to sit front row so was pretty much in touching distance of Duncan James (got to look at the positives haven’t we).

James did absolutely brilliantly, the sheer level of noise, the flashing lights, number of people didn’t seem to bother him. The following year I couldn’t go, but they said he coped brilliantly anyway.

That being said, I feel this year might be different so I’ve really had to think differently and take note of various ways that we can avoid a sensory meltdown. Firstly , I’ll say I’m not going this year, James has a full time 1 to 1 and Charlotte will cope much better with the teachers and teaching assistants than if I was there.

If you want your child to go to a pantomime it’s important to do research on the venue. Derby Arena has a separate room where they stream the pantomime onto a TV. This way if it does get too much children (and adults) don’t miss out.

If your child isn’t going with school and you’re planning on a family visit, have a look to see if there is a SEN performance, these will ensure music is turned down, less flashing lights, as well as fewer people. You will usually need confirmation that you have a child with a disability in your group, so if you’re awaiting diagnosis and don’t receive DLA, you’ll need to bare that in mind.

You know your child and what they can cope with, one suggestion the first year James went was to have a few fidget toys, he didn’t need them, but with it being so long it was good to have to hand. This year I will also be ensuring I pack his ear defenders in case he forgets to take the ones he keeps at school. Whilst there is a separate room, he is one of those who like to be there in the moment and enjoy the experience rather than feeling segregated from everyone else, but as he does seem to have become more sensitive to noise I know it’s going to be too much.

Finally, if you really don’t think your child won’t cope well, don’t feel you have to take them. If it’s a school trip. Speak to them. Voice concerns. Your child won’t be the only one not to attend and you can arrange to drop them at school upon everyone returning so they don’t stay in school feeling isolated.